Bribery & Corruption

I need to stop bribing my children.

There I said it.

Yes I admit it. I bribe them.

I bribe them to do stuff so it doesn’t take an hour to get out of the house. I bribe them so it doesn’t take fifty attempts to get in the car & I sometimes bribe to go to sleep so I can get some work done.

Yes, you can judge me.

I judge me! I’m not perfect. Far from it in fact.

Occasionally bribery works instantly. More often than not, it has no effect.

It’s a horrible habit I’ve fallen into, and although I try to use other means of compromising with my children, sometimes I can’t help myself. I hear the words falling out of my mouth before I have chance to stop them!

The problem is, after bribery where do you go? When it doesn’t work, what else do you do?

I know I need to stop it because it doesn’t work.

And it actually doesn’t fit right with me. It doesn’t feel right to be promising them something in return for something they should be doing anyway, like getting dressed, getting ready for school and the one I use it most of all for, tidying their toys. It’s too hard apparently. They’re too tired. There’s too much for them to tidy up. Wasn’t a problem when they made the mess, but still!

I suppose mostly, it’s more bargaining than bribery but still, whatever label I give it. I know I shouldn’t!

However, because there’s so much to do, so much to fit in and at the moment it feels like too little time to fit it all in, I keep doing it.

I’m my own worst enemy.

I need to slow it down. Stop rushing them everywhere. Stop using bribery to force them to do what I want them to do, or think they should do.

They’re little people.

They’re Individuals.

I should be giving them proper choices.

Also today, Lil Man had a major meltdown because I asked him to tidy up before we went out. He lay on the floor like an overacting footballer proclaiming he couldn’t get up, whining that he needed me to pick him up.

I told him he wasn’t going out until he had got himself up and tidied away the mess he had made. He told me ‘I’ll only do it if you pick me up’

I suppose that was me told good & proper.

Talk about leading by example huh?

Man, this parenting lark is like being at school all over again!

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Comments

    • Kate says

      Yes, you have!! It’s all amazing fun though. Tiring, frustrating and sometimes downright arrrgggghhh! But the greatest thing ever 🙂

    • Kate says

      That’s it, I have noticed mine get much more frustrated when they aren’t given a choice so that seems a good option to try 🙂 But yes, I’m hanging!!

  1. says

    I am a briber as well!

    Confession: Alice (2) has been trying to escape from the double buggy lately. This makes my life very difficult, as I can’t possibly hold her hand to walk and manouvre the double buggy at the same time, and Alice is not yet ready to walk everywhere. So, to bribe her to sit in the buggy nicely, I give her cake, chocolate or crisps!!! BAD MOTHER! I am working on other tactics though, and I am trying, I really am! But the last resort is cake and chocolate. Once she has finished whatever she is eating though she is back to trying to escape, so I really need to work on my tactics!
    Kerrie McGiveron recently posted..Centre Parcs Family Blogger Club – Our EntryMy Profile

    • Kate says

      Double buggies are a nightmare though, it takes all your energy to push the thing without trying to compromise, encourage and stay calm too!!!!

  2. says

    I’m definitely guilty of bribing sometimes too. Usually to get my son to participate in a group activity when he’s being sulky. The other thing I do a lot is threats – though I have to be careful that I’m actually prepared to follow through so I very rarely say we can’t go out because I hate being stuck in the house. I’m actually not sure which is worse, I mean in a way they’re exactly the same thing phrased differently. Sorry for the rambling comment, I’m pottering through the share Friday posts with wine – maybe not the best idea 🙂

    • Kate says

      Haha!! Never be sorry for sharing your thoughts and experiences!! I am guilty of both. However, I am trying very hard not to resort to it so much x

    • Kate says

      It really is, I suppose because it works well to begin with & then it’s the easy option til it starts to lose it’s effect!

    • Kate says

      Yes, you’re right Colette, you can’t stop yourself doing something you’re not aware of! So thats definitely the first battle!!!

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