Chaos and Calm

a little bit chaotic, a little bit calm.....

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Contact
  • Disclosure, PR & stuff

To be a Mother…..

March 18, 2012 by Kate 16 Comments

I’ve had a lovely day today. Spoilt by my fantastic hubby last night, treated to a lie in this morning, then presented with cards and chocolates by two little people of the toddler variety.

This afternoon we’ve been out for a lovely dinner and had a random walk in a field. Apparently we were looking for chocolate treasure!!

It was only this afternoon while I was clearing up all the mess created by the tiny tearaways (for the eleventy billionth time!!) that I remembered how very different Mother’s Day was a few years back. And I began to think how different it might still be….

I spent years assuming that I would be able to become a mother the instant we decided to start a family. I spent so many years trying not to get pregnant that I never actually considered how difficult the whole process is.

We put off starting a family for a long time, I wanted to finish my studies, we wanted to move to a quieter area and a bigger house.

The period of time from us deciding to start a family to Lil Man being born was a very difficult one. I fell pregnant four times but none of those pregnancies were meant to be. That awful word, miscarriage. It was hugely draining. I spent many a day feeling like I’d been punched in the stomach, physically and emotionally.

Days like Mother’s Day were unbelieveably difficult. Seeing everyone else celebrating being a mother when it was the one thing I wanted more than ever, but couldn’t be was…..well, I can’t even begin to describe it. I felt happiness for my mum, and my friends and family who were celebrating the day, but also a lot of sadness for what I thought might never be. I thought I knew deep down that I would be a mother one day, but the more time went on the harder that thought was hard to keep hold of.

Thankfully, that thought became reality. Lil Man was born, and later Lil Miss and our life hasn’t been the same since!

I have friends who have suffered the same, and I also have friends who have suffered far worse. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to lose a child you’ve given birth to, no matter how old they are. And I can only begin to imagine how hard days like Mother’s Day are when you’ve experienced that. Or how hard it must be when your own mother isn’t around to celebrate with you.

So, today I have been celebrating, but also thinking of and sending my love to all mummies. Particularly…. Those who are yearning, but yet to be mummies. Those who are mummies to angel babies. And those who have spent Mother’s Day missing their mums.

I realise how blessed I am to be a mum to not just one, but two adorable toddlers. I might moan about the lack of sleep. I might moan about the lack of my ability to grow eyes in the back of my head. I might be screaming inside with frustration when I ask one of them a simple question for the tenth time and STILL don’t get an answer. But I also know that they are two of the best things that have ever happened to me!

Kate x

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: angel babies, miscarriage, Mother, Mother's Day, pregnancy, toddlers

About Kate

Comments

  1. Donna Trinder (@donna_trinder) says

    March 18, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Kate,
    You’ve reduced me to tears!
    I’m glad you’ve had a lovely Mother’s Day, as I have to with my tearaways, albeit of the older variety!
    I really understand your pain after having a miscarriage at 11 weeks just after last mother’s day. It’s been a hard day today, should have had 3 cards. Still, I have to be grateful for the 2 I have, but it’s still hard isn’t it?
    Can I just say, it really doesn’t get easier as they are teenagers! But I still love them to bits!
    Donna xx

    Reply
    • Kate says

      March 22, 2012 at 9:00 pm

      Sorry Donna, didn’t mean to make you cry! I’m really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Yes, we must be grateful, but it’s still a loss no matter how many children you have, so still hard and especially on days such as Mother’s Day. I’m stocking up on the gin for when the teenage years hit, the terrible twos are bad enough!!!

      Reply
  2. Leigh says

    March 18, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    TY hun, No-one here ever thinks about me on mothers day, my lil angel is always with me. Though she was never ‘born’, shes made herself known 🙂 My lil “Maisie”, so insistent, so strong, so far away. xxx

    Reply
    • Kate says

      March 22, 2012 at 8:56 pm

      You’re welcome sweetie. Although life is a bit busier now and I don’t often get chance to sit down and reflect, I do still remember how difficult those days were *big hugs* xx

      Reply
  3. Claire says

    March 19, 2012 at 12:43 am

    Thanks for sharing Kate. I will be an official mother in two months, and it’s nice again to be reassured that it’s all worth it in the end. I also spent lots of time and effort ensuring that I didn’t get pregnant. And then when I did get pregnant, immediately with no failed attempts, I felt like there was so little time to process going from not pregnant and not caring, to all of a sudden, pregnant and there is nothing I can do about it. It was an emotional roller coaster to say the least. I had to remind myself that getting pregnant so quickly was a blessing, not a curse, and that I need to be thankful. Now, two months away, I am in a much better place that I was at the beginning! Thanks for sharing your story.

    Reply
    • Kate says

      March 22, 2012 at 8:47 pm

      Thanks Claire, I’m so chuffed you’ve popped over to have a little read and I can’t believe it’s gone so quick!!! It is most definitely all worth it in the end. I’ve said plenty of times before, it’s the toughest job I’ve ever had, but it’s also the best! There’s no job satisfaction like being a mum :0) I have friends who thought they never wanted children EVER and even they think it’s the best thing since sliced bread… Unfortunately, the emotional rollercoaster won’t stop, but you won’t regret it x

      Reply
  4. Corinne says

    March 19, 2012 at 8:27 am

    This post is lovely, it must be such a hard day for so many women. I spent the day happy with my boys but also sad for the miscarriage I am going through, I was really surprised by the couple of points where I got very emotional because it was Mother’s Day. Thank you for sharing your experience and for the reminder of all those who find Mother’s Day incredibly difficult.

    Reply
    • Kate says

      March 22, 2012 at 8:44 pm

      I’m not surprised you were emotional, it’s hard enough when it’s not as raw as yours is now. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through and that it’s happening around such a significant day. I do really appreciate your lovely comment though and as I’ve said before, I’m here if you need x

      Reply
  5. Msissa says

    March 19, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    Good post, KB. I’ve had a lovely day being a mum and appreciating my own mum, but I’ve also had a little cry for my friend whose daughter lived for just one day. It’s such a hard day, and I never realised before. Now, quick! Go and see what havoc the TT are wreaking!

    Reply
    • Kate says

      March 22, 2012 at 8:38 pm

      Your friend must have had an extremely tough day :0( I never gave it any thought before we started thinking about a family. But thank you, glad you had a lovely day too x

      Reply
  6. Coombemill - Fiona says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    What a beautiful post. You are quite right and I don’t come out of my working mummy bubble enough to really appreciate what I have. Glad you had a lovely Mother’s Day and thank you for sharing your thoughts
    Coombemill – Fiona recently posted..Multiple fun at Coombe MillMy Profile

    Reply
    • Kate says

      March 22, 2012 at 8:36 pm

      Thanks Fiona. I have to admit, I’m guilty of the same, working mummy bubbles are so busy its hard to make time just to think about and appreciate all we have. You have much more excuse for that than most of us! A great excuse all the same, but still :0)

      Reply
  7. jenny paulin says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    what a wonderful post and I am so sorry to hear the hurt and pain you suffered. You are right for all the moaning i may do, I am so thankful, grateful and lucky to have my boys and I do take it for granted. I have friends who have been trying for years, sadly without success and I felt terrible when i had to break the news to them twice that I was expecting.
    i am happy you enjoyed your mothers day and am able to celebrate it xx

    Reply
    • Kate says

      March 22, 2012 at 8:33 pm

      Thanks Jenny. I do my fair share of moaning, but just stopping and thinking about all we went through on the way here really puts everything in perspective. I need to start counting my blessings more often! x

      Reply
  8. TheBoyandMe says

    April 21, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    A beautiful post, really heartfelt and emotional. I’m sorry that you went through that terrible time; you have two gorgeous children now. I have friends who are struggling to conceive and it must be heart-wrenching for them.
    TheBoyandMe recently posted..Saturday 21st April 2012 – ‘New’ (112/366)My Profile

    Reply
    • Kate says

      April 21, 2012 at 9:50 pm

      Yes, we do. And I couldn’t feel more blessed than I do. It was hard at the time, although I wouldn’t change a thing now. It’s not something I would wish on anyone, but having experienced it makes it easier to understand what others are going through, and at the time it made us change some things for the better. I really hope your friends have some positive news soon x

      Reply

Leave a Reply to Msissa Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badgeShow more posts

Recent Posts

  • Little Funfest – April 2014
  • The NHS, Negligence and the Cost
  • Girl’s Night In
  • Social Media Overload
  • Beyond Floatation Spa Review

Search

Blogs I love

  • A Mum on a Mission
  • Charlie Cheeky Chops
  • Coombemill
  • Dummy Mummy
  • Fibrolife ThruALens
  • I Packed My Sense of Humour
  • Letters from Ladycurd
  • Mammywoo
  • Matt Beswick
  • Mommatwo
  • Mostly Yummy Mummy
  • Mothergeek
  • Motherhood Journeys
  • Mum 2 Baby Insomniac
  • Mummy Mishaps
  • Northern Mum
  • Not My Year Off
  • Real Housewife of Suffolk County
  • The Boy and Me
  • The Moiderer
  • Urbanvox

Tag Cloud

Anniversary Baby Food Birthdays blog Blog Camp bloggers blogging change children Children's Entertainment Children's Festivals Countrykids Crystals Days Out domestic abuse Domestic violence Holistic Therapy Marriage miscarriage Mother Parenting pregnancy Recipes redundancy Reflexology refuge Reiki Relax Religion Reviews School Seasons Spring strops Summer Sunshine tantrums terrible twos Therapy Centre toddler development toddlers Twitter Weaning womens aid work

Blog built on Genesis framework

Theme of the Month - News

Blogcamp

Tots100 BlogCamp for UK parent bloggers

Britmums

Find Me @ BritMums

Tots100

TOTS100 top UK Mummy and Daddy bloggers

Parent Bloggers Network

Parent Bloggers Network

Copyright © 2022 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in